Reflection: Sharing in Grief of Loss

What is it about life that makes it so hard to lose when so many of us believe it is not the end?  The deep sadness we feel when someone passes away is like no other feeling.  It is indescribable and universally felt, a permanent fixture of our collective consciousness and passionate hearts. Many of you have shared this grief of loss with us over the span of time and we are always humbled being included in your lives.

We have recently and unexpectedly lost two very dear clients and we are always impacted by the passing.  Our hearts and warmest thoughts go out to their spouses and their family who are dealing with the loss of their loved one. Both have been clients for a very long time, and both were dearly thought of by all of us.

I’m not sure what I believe about the next life, what comes next and what happens.  Maybe the feeling of loss is purely selfish in that we don’t mourn the passing for the individual but rather mourn the loss for ourselves.  But that is overly simplistic isn’t it.  At least it feels as such.

In some way maybe we understand they will miss out on what is next here and in the now.  Another birthday, another sunset, another dawn, another hug, and a kiss.  The simple things in life we enjoy and have enjoyed together. Gone for them and we left to possess alone.

We know you all span the spiritual and religious spectrum, and we may not agree on the foundations of faith, but we do agree it hurts to lose someone.  There is always the promise that what comes next is something wonderful and beautiful, one chapter closes onto the new shores of life eternal, or we awaken into the next life renewed to try again.  But we move on and at the very least, our energy goes home to the cosmos.  A world beyond our comprehension.

We should celebrate life today and every day and celebrate the lives of those lost. Let us not forget tomorrow may never come and that makes today the most special day of our lives. Love more. Laugh more. Share more. It is never enough and enough will never come.  The depths of our love prevent it from doing so.

We wish we could make it better, that feeling of indescribable loss. But maybe that feeling is so deep because our feelings are the same.  Maybe it is okay to fully embrace the tremendous feeling of loss and let it flow through and around us. It is a testament to the life we loved and lost. It is an affirmation of how much another was and is loved by us.

When my brother Chris passed away last year, everyone at TenBridge was so kind.  Libby left a note on my desk with a quote, and I’ll leave us there.

“If there ever is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is always something you must remember.  You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.  But the most important thing is, even if we are apart…I’ll always be with you” – Winnie the Pooh

From the desk of
Erik Lawrence CFP®

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